Shadows in Bloom by Aria Lockley

What sort of flower do you suppose blooms in the shadows, watered with sorrow and death?

Nairu, a young Saintess raised to restore her God to his former glory and lift the curse from their lands, has never questioned her role. She set out upon her pilgrimage with determination in her heart to succeed, her protector and Keeper, Kallistra at her side. Only once this journey begins does Nairu discover how abnormal her sheltered and isolated upbringing has been.
When Kallistra and Nairu partner up with a unique set of adventurers to earn some much-needed coin to fund their pilgrimage, Nairu has the opportunity to train her magic with the Elven mage, Alandris. After days and nights spent at his side; she discovers something far more dangerous- a desire of her own.
But as Nairu begins to unravel the dark truth of her God and magic, will she be able to pursue that desire? Or will something far more sinister threaten her chance at a life of her own?