Crazy Fluffing Love by Max Monroe

MISSING PERSON
Name: Thatcher Kelly
Age: Mid-thirties
Height: 6 foot 5 inches
Weight: A very sexy, lean, and muscular 250 pounds
Last seen: Panama City Beach, Florida
Important Note: This guy is a real good-looking motherfluffer.

Look, I know this might seem a little over the top to already prepare for my face to be plastered all over Missing Persons flyers, but trust me, it’s not.
My pregnant wife Cassie—whose hormones are swinging like a fluffing pendulum—has decided that we need a honeymoon.
Right the F now.
She wants us to go on a celebratory “spring break,” we-just-got-married vacation to none other than Panama City Beach, Florida. But the only problem is, it’s not spring.
It’s not even summer.
It’s October, my crazy-hot wife is pregnant, and things are starting to get really fluffing weird.

If you’re reading this, send help and plan a really nice memorial for my very super, beloved, *ahem* male member, who, for the sake of public decency, shall remain nameless. I’m not entirely sure he’s going to make it out alive.